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  • Writer's pictureFangwei Xu

Cuffed Dance

Cut a wound from the wind forests, walk down along from a driven highway route. Mountains echo with its silence on the freezing dry air. Can't even think about a cold night here without really seeing people coming through these trees and snow land, frozen lake of Louise, valley between a white gorgeous glacier and railroads, running river towards another side of the paradise. Sun behind aside of the mountains, shoot through a fog and cast silver lines waving in oceanic cloudscapes. Nymphomaniacal feeling fades away from these sexual landscapes and time is passing through my chest. Breathe too hard to choke myself in a no lord land.

"How many years?"

"30% survival rates in 5 years."

"For him?"

"Yes, the best situations I've already know but I can't even accept it and con myself about the facts are not here."

"And... for you?"

"I don't know."

And I back my steps walk from the center of the lake to the edges of the land, snow cracks in a strange sounds of eating and fusing in each other parts of themselves. Heard nothing but only the heavy breath resonates inside.

And I start to run, run like those things are not back there chasing me. Drops hang on the fences concentrate together, and the silhouette flashes back to the first place I meet her.

Then I fall down on the white snow, blindness is keeping pointing into my eyelids. In this altitude of illusion that makes me believe from the beginning these shit are all fake.

"Hit me on the March."

"No I can't... I love my dad."

"What makes you like this?"

"There're redemptions I've never done, and both of us are regrading that we haven't spent enough time to company each other, the only difference is, he won't tell."

"Ok well then I'll write your name in all capitalized on my list and when you have time..."

"Probably we won't keep in touch for a few years."

"What are you actually gonna do with your life when you successfully putting these lies on?"

"Then, maybe I'll keep dancing with the cuffs on my ankles."

I landed on Beijing international airport terminal 3, pretending these years were never happened.

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